8 cars which make you say ‘I’d rather take the Bus’

Here at CarNewsCafe we always try to find some good in even the bad cars.  We drive and write reviews about lots of cars on this site.  Usually we can find something good to say, even about cars and vehicles we think miss the mark or are just plain terrible.  However.. some cars just suck and there is just no way around saying that, but some cars are so horrendous they make you say, “I’d rather take the Bus!”  The following 10 cars are will make pretty much anyone say that.

If you own these cars.. sorry but these are just the facts.

Nicolas Zart and Aaron Turpen contributed to this editorial piece.

Pontiac Aztek

pontiac-AztekDuh!  The Pontiac Aztek made our number #1 spot on this list.  Do you have to even ask why?

The Pontiac Aztek is one of the ugliest cars ever made, if not the ugliest.  If you own one of these you’ve essentially said, “My life hasn’t worked out and I just don’t care.”  The Pontiac Aztek’s crowning achievement was being the car owned and driven by Walter White in the hit TV show Breaking Bad.  The Aztek became a character in the show itself but that isn’t enough for us to actually ever want to own one.

There is a lot of auto related stuff that bothers the auto editors and auto writers out on the internet.  The community sites and discussion groups for the Pontiac Aztek, however, probably takes the cake.  It’s like watching the rise of the Fourth Reich. (History lesson – the Third Reich were the Nazis.)

GM deserved to go bankrupt because they built the Pontiac Aztek.  Honestly their bailout should’ve been vetoed just because they built this monstrosity. On the other hand, the Aztek is destined to become a collectible.

Pontiac Grand Am

1999_pontiac_grand_am_coupe_100001205_mThe Pontiac Grand Am was given the nickname the “Bland Am.”  This was one of GM’s sorry forays into the mid-size sedan category which they still have yet to truly catch up in.  Driving the Pontiac Grand Am felt like a Buick boat and there was nothing about the car which made you point and say, “Oh, yeah that’s good.”  It was just well… a Bland Am.

Not to knock on Buick here, which during that period were meant to be floating land yachts, but the Grand Am, whose name should have said “racey” was instead just another blah-mobile.

Chevy Cavalier

chevy_Cavalier_manu-05_01-1024Another sorry excuse from GM, but this time in the small car category.  Definitely not their specialty as the Europeans and Japanese have small cars down.  We have no idea why you would buy one of these over a Toyota Corolla, Honda Civic, etc. or any other reasonable small sedan.

Let’s be serious here, if the Corolla is light years ahead of your car in terms of styling… you really F#$%&* up designing a car.

Chevrolet HHR

chevrolet-hhr-04This retro look just did NOT work.  You weren’t sure what it was either.  A wagon?  A hatchback?  Some new market GM was trying to cater to?  Just old people that wanted to be hippies again?  Are young people supposed to think it is cool?

Since the Chevrolet HHR made no sense to consumers, or GM, it makes no sense to us. Speaking of cars that defy explanation..

Chrysler PT Cruiser

PT CruiserLike the Chevrolet HHR the PT Cruiser was trying to go for a retro look, but it just doesn’t work.  The Chrysler PT Cruiser just never handled well and even though it was a hatchback/wagon it really wasn’t that comfortable inside, nor was the interior well thought out. The car was actually built on a truck platform in order to circumvent CAFE requirements, which should basically define this car for everyone. Sure, sometimes skirting the rules is cool, but in this case.. not so much.

This is one of the reasons Chrysler went bankrupt, twice.

Daimler SmartCar

The Smart Car is a controversial topic among auto journalist and writers.  Anytime we say, “The Smart Car sucks!” usually a torrent of hate mail fills our inboxes and we get death threats.

We don’t think small European cars are bad.  There have been many good examples of European cars making their way to our shores over the past few years.  Notably the Scion iQ, Ford Focus, Alfa Romeo 4C, and more.  However the SmartCar rides on the heels of being great when it isn’t.

For those that have actually driven a fair amount of cars and vehicles, they know that the SmartCar doesn’t really handle well nor does the transmission shift like it should.  It almost feels like a heavy truck transmission that the engineers forgot about until the last minute.  “Oh, we need a transmission?” is probably what they said.

The SmartCar also requires Premium fuel, which few owners are aware of.  A glaring omission by salesman?  Probably.  On top of the Premium fuel issue the Smart Car doesn’t get all that good mileage.  Overall 40 mpg in city/highway driving.  What’s the point of driving this type of car if it doesn’t get 100+ mpg?

Nicolas actually likes it and, well, I know hot girls love these Smart Cars.  So we both would totally drive one. Except… it doesn’t do well in accidents.

14crash_600

Fox Body Ford Mustang

The original Mustang is an iconic symbol of Americana all over the world.  Hell, it’s hard to find people that don’t like a Ford Mustang.  The Fox Body Ford Mustang, however, is symbol of Ford just not giving a s*#$ about any design or making anyone happy.

1310-1979-ford-mustang-fox-body

Basically, you take a look at Fox Body Mustangs and say to yourself, “That’s a Mustang? Who would buy that?”  That’s all I need to say.

Hummer

hummer_wallpapers_4-normalThe Hummer’s time was short lived when the US enjoyed cheap gas prices.  We aren’t really sure if it was even all that cool with gas prices were cheap.  Women generally don’t like big trucks like the Hummer and we just never saw a point to it in the first place.  (See this list for chick magnets.)  Why do you need to take up 2-3 car spaces when carrying around one person?   Nevermind the fact that they totally dropped the ball on marketing – after all, “Everyone likes a Hummer” seemed obvious. Right?

We don’t mind people driving big trucks, big cars, or gas guzzlers.  We live in America.  The Hummer takes it to a whole new level of BS.  If it was between driving a Hummer and taking the bus, we’d gladly take the bus.  At least we would still be respected.

Adam Yamada-Hanff
Adam has always loved cars and anything with wheels. When he is not writing about interesting stories you might find him jamming on his saxophone, watching movies, creating art, or playing with his two dogs.